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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Eight - Heechul


Dear Diary,

It’s that time. We have cast our first piece directly and now we shall see how our opponent responses. See we are not mindless drones and if there is one thing I know, that is that there is one force on Earth that will terrify even the hardest CEO, and that is a mass of crazy fans.

It has been said that a dog should never bite the hand that feeds them. Some think that we are. What they forget is that the hands that feed us are our own. We sweat blood and tears to create a lavish meal that we present to our company. They then take that and feed our managers and our staff before stuffing their stomachs full of our creation. Only when they are done, are we given the smallest table scraps to eat.

Some say that the dogs agreed to be trained, knowing what they would become and what would be asked of them. I pose this question. What puppy truly knows what its master intends?

So no, we are not biting the hand that feeds us. Instead we are like cornered animals, which have been pressed back, again and again, only to be beaten once more. When that happens to any creature one of two things will occur, it will break forever causing itself to become entirely useless to its master or it will lash out, and bite the hand that is beating it. If they are not careful we may take the whole arm as well as the fingers.

We are simply baring our fangs. It is completely up to our master if we will have to bite them or not. However, our master should be very careful because outside of our family pack - who will fight fiercely to protect our own - there are countless other packs that will fight just as hard for us. Worse than that there are swarms of creatures that by themselves are just simple flies, easy to squash, but when they band together they become a devastating swarm of blue that can obliterate anything in its way. If red joins with blue, the masters that beat us will be powerless to stop them.

So now we wait, in the corner we have been pressed into, with fangs bared, waiting to see if the masters hand shall fall with violence or gentleness.





































I think I should be a writer.

~Heechul



Masterpost


AN: This particular entry came from the fact that I would be less then surprised if it turned out that Heechul was the mastermind behind all of this. If there is anyone in the industry that knows how it works and is capable of challenging and changing it, it is him. The man is brilliant and if he isn't guiding all of this he, at the very least, knows exactly what is going on. There is nothing that Hankyung could do without him knowing.
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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Seven - Leeteuk


Dear Journal,

I’m glad it is finally time. I would never even admit it to the members but I think I am beyond my limit. Every week I have to do our radio program, filming for Star King, Strong Heart, and whatever other shows I have been signed up for at any given time. Then on top of that we still have practices for our next concert stop, so that we don’t fall out of practice and can bring something new to our fans, plus practices for the end of the year shows, plus any vocal recordings. If any of us get more than an hour of sleep a night, we count it a good night.

I don’t know how much longer I can be caught in limbo between the music that I love and the future that I want for myself. I’m not sure my body can handle it much more. It is bearable again, only thanks to Eunhyuk who has come into his own and taken on things that I would have had to otherwise. I’m afraid he feels like he can never do enough for me. He is constantly following me around in the event that I need anything. Between him and Yesung and Minho – who they have obviously trained – I am never alone, not even for a moment.

There are times I miss Kangin horribly. I miss his quiet strength and his laughter that would be with us on every program. I miss how I could lean on him and he would then take my entire weight and allow me to rest my body under the disguise of fan service. I miss how he would steal the attention of the camera just when I needed him to, to make sure that fans didn’t notice what we didn’t want them too. I hate seeing him so eaten up over what he has done.

I must go now. Our van just stopped and I have a recording to attend. Hopefully the New Year will bring a newly united, healthy and whole Super Junior.

~Leeteuk



Fifty Eight - Heechul

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Six - Hankyung


Dear Journal,

It has been so long since I have written. I haven’t had time to sleep more than a few hours a night, let alone write in my journal. It bothers me even more to see the members that compose Super Junior M wasting away to nothing as we are worked to the bone. I’m sure some of the fans have noticed the dark circles that even makeup can’t cover. I wish I had time to even see my parents, but I hardly have time to do anything but what our company tells us to.

It is more for the members that I have done what I have done. If we can get SME to change at least one of our contracts they will have to do something about the others. They say that we will be working things out between all of us. I haven’t seen any meetings yet, but I sincerely hope this will go better then the negotiations with DBSK did.

I wish I had more time to write in this but I don’t. Here is praying that the fans will stay behind us in this, because without their support we could never do what we do.

~Hankyung



Fifty Seven - Leeteuk

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AN: So this is my response to the events that are unfolding. When DBSK began their cases I stayed mostly quiet but I don't think I can on this one. Not as fans run with ideas of what is going on. Please know that these are only fanfictions and the things that are written here are simply based on my knowledge of the industry and the things that I have observed. No matter what anyone says I will never believe that anyone of those boys could ever do something like this with malicious intent. You will be hard pressed to find more decent men.
kat_elric: (Default)
AN: This is dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] featheredtips who wrote a very cute and fun Kyumin in hopes to encourage me to add more of them to this. I also think I should maybe mention that I have a burning idea for a new high school AU fic that will center around that pairing, but hopfully it will wait for patiently in the future.

Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Five - Kyuhyun


Dear Journal,

It was nice to see Sungmin after being away for a while. It’s funny how you can miss small things, like the noise he makes when he sleeps, when he is not there. We roomed together at the hotel and had a video game competition with Eunhyuk and Shindong, which I won, while we were supposed to be sleeping. Leeteuk probably would have killed us if he found out, not like he is one to talk.

Then the thermostat was broke, so instead of shivering and trying to get a few hours of sleep in our own beds, Sungmin crawled into mine. We sort of managed to get some sleep if twenty minutes counts. I swear sometimes I almost hate seeing him again because we just talk about everything for hours.

I also helped him work on vocals for his musical recently. I plan to make some time in my schedule to come see him. There is no way I am going to miss that. He has worked so hard and I know it will mean a lot to him if I come.

The flight is almost done so I have to stop writing. Too bad I didn’t have any new Yesung news.

Heechul is suspicious.

~Kyuhyun



Fifty Six - Hankyung

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Four - Hankyung


Dear Journal,

I think I might have to kill Heechul for his little stunts. The kissing, I almost expected. Heechul will do just about anything to get a rise out of someone, but the frequency is starting to get very annoying. I had just gotten the rest of the group to move past it right before the Dream Concert, when he walks in and does it all over again.

I was afraid Siwon was going to have a panic attack. I was forced to pull him aside and explain what was going on. After I did he was fine with it. I think he was more upset by the fact that I hadn’t told him I might be in a relationship with Heechul then he was by the actual relationship. Besides him, most of the other members are taking things with varying degrees of reaction, but we are all good enough actors to keep it hidden.

Regardless the kissing needs to stop soon or I am going to have an interesting story to tell my future wife in explanation of where I acquired my kissing skill. I don’t even want to know where Heechul got his (probably from kissing people like Jungmo on stage). I’ll have to admit that he is a good kisser. I’m not sure why it doesn’t bother me that I have this knowledge, maybe it’s just because everything about the situation is so Heechul, but if Leeteuk calls a meeting to discuss “safe sex practices”, Heechul’s game is up.

~Hankyung

P.S. I think I may have to tell Henry soon. I think he is just getting more and more confused.




Entry Fifty Five - Kyuhyun

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Three - Henry


Dear Journal,

I’m confused. Hankyung is acting like the thing with Heechul never happened. I guess I kind of understand why he is acting like that, since we didn’t tell him we had hidden a camera or anything but I expected something to be different. Not even Siwon knew that he and Heechul had a thing going and they are close. They know everything about each other.

I thought maybe we were just all assuming things, but when we joined the rest of Super Junior for the Dream Concert, Heechul kissed Hankyung right on the mouth in the middle of our dressing room. Everybody kind of went on like nothing was wrong. I did see a few members glance at them strangely for a while and Siwon was sending them both looks, but other than that, nothing.

Did I miss something? Is this part of the Korean culture that I haven’t picked up on yet? Sometimes I still feel so confused over everything. At least I know Zhou mi is as confused as I am. I asked him and he doesn’t know either. Maybe I will have to ask Ryeowook soon.

~Henry



Entry Fifty Four - Hankyung

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty Two - Leeteuk


Dear Journal,

I feel like I should call a group meeting. At the same time I am 99%, well more like 89% certain that Heechul knew about the camera. Besides, if he didn’t what am I going to say? “Don’t date because we are in the same group and any fights you have are going to make things awkward”? It’s not like we don’t have fights occasionally anyway. I couldn’t really hold it against him because it’s not like we have time for any other relationships.

In other news, we performed at the Dream Concert this weekend. The stage felt too big due to us missing two members. I hope they can both join us again shortly. We aren’t the same without them.

The weekend before that, we were guest on Dance Battle, where I performed with Sungmin, Eunhyuk, and Shindong. We only had twenty minutes in our hotel to come up with and work on our routine. We did very well. The members impress me more and more. We are geniuses.

I would write more but I am being triple teamed by Heechul, Eunhyuk, and Donghae (who is on speakerphone) to put you away and go to bed for the few hours I can. I suppose I will listen because even though that paper shredder isn’t very threatening to me, it will be the death of you.

~Leeteuk



Entry Fifty Three - Henry

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty One - Donghae


Dear Diary,

Ten reasons why I should have realized that Heechul and Hankyung were in a relationship:

1. Heechul hangs off him all the time.
2. They shower together.
3. They wash the cats together.
4. Hankyung has a really big bed.
5. When Hankyung goes to China, Heechul gets moody
and depressed.
6. When Hankyung comes back, Heechul gets really
happy.
7. They live in the same dorm.
8. They shower together.
9. Hankyung makes food specifically for Heechul.
10. They kissed in his hotel room.

~Donghae




Entry Fifty Two - Leeteuk

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Fifty - Heechul


Dear Diary,

Tonight I kissed Hankyung. I even added in some tongue for good measure. He is quite the kisser once he got over the “we were just talking about my mother’s cooking and now your lips are against mine” moment.

I managed to ‘make out’ with him until the count of 60 where I proceeded to roll him off the bed, land on top of him, and order him to moan loudly or my knee really was going to shift and meet his tender spots.

Thankfully Hankyung moans rather nicely.



































That will teach those kids to try to pull a hidden camera on Kim Heechul.

~Heechul




Entry Fifty One - Donghae

Masterpost

AN: You guys this makes fifty entries! That is a crazy amount of entires! I can't believe there are still people with me on this adventure! Since we finally hit fifty what do you all think? Should I keep writing these things? Should I retire them? Are there characters you would like to hear from more often or ideas that you love, hate, want to see? Should I go for another fifty or should I have stopped at five? What do you think?
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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Nine - Eunhyuk


Dear Diary,

Yesung and Ryeowook said that Heechul is going to get pregnant. I guess it’s a good thing that he can share his room with Hankyung so that they can turn his into a nursery.

It’s going to be a good year Diary! First I’m going to be an uncle to Tablo’s baby and now Heechul is going to have one too! I can’t wait! I hope they don’t decide to move out…

~Eunhyuk



Entry Fifty - Heechul

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Eight - Henry


Dear Journal,

This may have gotten just a bit out of hand… I mean when Z mentioned starting this it sounded fun so I joined him. Then we needed to recruit agent K. Agent R walked in on agents Z and K installing the equipment. Then agent S came to play a game and joined in. He recruited agent E on his way to get popcorn. They met agent D in the hall with agent Y and both were recruited. Agent SW (we couldn’t call Siwon S, we can’t have two that would be confusing) came to tell his roommate agent S that they should go to bed since we have to get up in three hours and fifteen minutes. When he saw what we were doing he decided to join in to “see a side of his band mates he had never seen”. Agent SD (see what I mean about too many S agents) joined, like he would ever pass up this chance, when he came to find out where agent E had gotten lost on the way to get snacks.

We thought it was all over before it started when agent L showed up to shoo us all to bed, but agent K and Z spoke really fast and mentioned the words “hidden camera” and “this should work on Heechul”. Now agent L is manning the video feed directly into our room.

So far nothing eventful has happened. The subject in question is actually just sitting on his bed combing the Cat’s hair. Nothing but rather boring conversation has occurred. Time will tell. I’ll wait for a bit to see what happens….

It has been fifteen minutes since I stopped writing and Journal you will not believe what just happened! The Cat just kissed the subject! I don’t mean a hidden by a hand, let’s make the fans scream kiss, I mean a full on the lips maybe involving a bit of tongue kiss! Then he pulled off Hankyung’s shirt and they made out for a while. I’ll spare you the details because we were all just in pure shock. Then they rolled off of the bed and out of our camera angle but there were still noises.

Everybody is staring at the computer in shock. I was sure agent SW was going to start praying but I think his brain has shut down. Agent K and Z didn’t really expect to find anything like this. Agent L just shut off our camera feed and ordered us all to bed.

I bet we have a group meeting about this tomorrow.

~ Agent H



Entry Forty Nine - Eunhyuk

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Seven - Sungmin


Dear Diary,

What do you do at three thirty in the morning? Cook popcorn and join in a secret operation of course!

~ Agent S signing off


Entry Forty Eight - Henry

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Six - Zhou Mi


Dear Journal,

I only have a few moments to write before operation CHINA – Catch Hankyung In Noxious Acts – goes live (Henry came up with the English acronym for us). Our technology is connected. Agent R and K have joined me in my room to monitor the situation. My roommate, agent H has just given us the cue that the Cat has entered the room. We are a go!

I will record our findings later.

~Agent Z signing off


Entry Forty Seven - Sungmin

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Five - Ryeowook


29

Dear Journal,

We are not in Korea at the moment. This is important because it means that we are staying in a hotel. Now to clearly understand this concept this means that all of Super Junior, all of our mangers that are in attendance, and all of the numerous staff that need to be present as well say in the same hotel. Typically this means that we take up one floor of the hotel at the very minimum. After we got used to the fact we would be monopolizing whole floors we found it very nice. We don’t really have to worry about wandering the halls or fans bursting in and catching us unaware. Contrary to fan belief, since I am sure they think we room with the same one or two people, we frequently rotate rooms. Tonight I was rooming with Kyuhyun.

I wanted to work on some vocals with him for the new song I am composing (he, Yesung, and Sungmin regularly help me) so I set out to find him. Being that it was 3am I figured he would be in someone’s room. Imagine my surprise when I walked in on him and Zhou mi in Hankyung’s room…

I must say Zhou mi is quite a bit stronger then he looks. He had Kyuhyun’s legs thrown over his shoulders and the younger man was trying to balance his weight while he unscrewed the grate near the ceiling. I’m not entirely sure where they got the tools but they seemed well equipped for the job. They didn’t seem the least bit worried that I had caught them either, since I was met with equal smirks.

I am now formally inducted in operation CHINA. If we are caught by Heechul, I will feign innocence and naive confusion and arrive upset at Yesung’s door. Zhou Mi will suddenly cease to understand Korean. Kyuhyun will play “the baby” card. I feel that we are covered.

~Ryeowook


Entry Forty Six - Zhou Mi

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Four - Kyuhyun


Dear journal,

Donghae has been temporarily forbidden to watch American movies. He has taken to using quotes from them to practice his English skills. Just yesterday he said something to Henry that made him turn bright red. Henry refused to translate and Donghae didn't have a clue what he really said. He tried to explain to Leeteuk, but I am fairly certain that a conversation about gold fish wouldn't have caused Henry to choke on his water. Besides the few words I did understand were not words that are used in polite conversation. However I think Leeteuk’s biggest hint was when Donghae repeated it to Heechul and the man couldn’t stop laughing. He said, and I quote, “You,” *gasp for breath* “said” *insert giggle* “that” *snicker* “to” *you get the point* “Henry!”

After that Leeteuk banned Donghae from English movie quotes unless prescreened by at least three people who understood English and just for the safety of all he is now explicitly forbidden from ever using them in front of a camera.

My personal opinion: Donghae knew exactly what he was saying to Henry.

I must go now duty, I mean Zhou mi, calls.

~Kyuhyun



Entry Forty Five - Ryeowook

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Three - Donghae


Dear Diary,

Super Junior M finished filming a show just the other day. It was a ton of fun. I can't get too detailed in here about what when on in the show. You can never know who might get their hands on this thing. If the aliens get it then the details of our recording would be broadcast to the entire universe before the show even aired. So you can see why I have to be discreet.

In other news we were joined by the rest of Super Junior for some events this weekend. It appears my roommate has not gone through with operation "wife find" yet. He is still worried about what the fangirls will say. Although several fangirls have already offered to be his wife...

I have a quote for fangirls everywhere that I heard in an American movie that they should maybe take to heart. "If you love him, let him go. If you have to stalk him, he was probably never yours in the first place."

~Donghae



Entry Forty Four - Kyuhyun

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AN: The quote is from the movie "All About Steve" that I just saw this weekend. If you get the opportunity to see it I highly recommend it. It is a very comical piece about being just who you are and knowing that it is ok not to be 'normal'. Besides, lets face it, what fangirl is ever normal? I know I'm not!
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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty Two - Heechul


Dear Dairy,

Mithra is busy with new album stuff…
.
.
.
.
Hongki is busy with lots of stuff…
.
.
.
.
Jungmo is busy with stuff…
.
.
.
.
Kibum is busy with stuff….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate China!























Well now I’m going to be chased out of China by people screaming that I need to commit suicide. At least I will have something to do.

~Heechul




Entry Forty Three - Donghae

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty One - Kyuhyun


Dear Journal,

I am missing any excitement that happens in my dorm back in Korea but that is ok. There is plenty of excitement here. We finished filming our music video and have successfully released it. The filming went very well and was very enjoyable. At one point, while Hankyung and Jessica were filming the scene of them dancing together, Donghae and I exchanged looks and dissolved into laughter. Everyone looked at us like we were slightly crazy. All I had to say was Heesica and Ryeowook and Zhou mi joined us in that laughter. I swear I have seen Heechul dance with Hankyung just like that. In fact I know there was a time where they had both had a few too many and their dance was much more inappropriate then that. Not that says much. Heechul pretty much danced with all of us that night. Ah the strange memories I have.

Well it’s back to work. Sorry journal, this entry was largely uneventful. Maybe I’ll call Sungmin later and see what Yesung has been up too.

~Kyuhyun



Entry Forty Two - Heechul

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Forty - Zhou Mi


Dear Journal,

I have discovered that Hankyung writes about Heechul far too much in his journal. I already knew they acted like a married couple but now I am beginning to suspect they might really be. I think it might be worth installing cameras in his room. I shall talk to Kui Xian about assisting me and will of course split any profits I make with him.

~Zhou Mi




Entry Forty One - Kyuhyun

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Dear Diary Journal
Entry Thirty Nine - Hankyung


Dear Journal,

We had our first performance of our new single in China. Everything went reasonably well. As expected there were small mistakes but probably nothing that any fans could notice. It felt unbelievably good to be back in China again. There is just something about performing in your home country that is indescribable. The rest of Super Junior M, with the exception of Zhou Mi didn’t really get it until we were in China for a good deal of time before coming back to Korea. There is simply something about standing on stage and knowing that you are performing at home. It’s a fantastic feeling. I am sad that Henry will not experience that feeling for a very long time, if ever. I wonder if we could see about doing a small concert in Canada. I imagine he would enjoy that.

My mother insisted that if we had any time we should stop over. We didn’t really have time, but we unanimously agreed to make time. It was very nice to see her again. Although when she asked how Heechul was, I told her fine. She doesn’t really need to know the details of that one.

Before we left Heechul informed me that when I returned I was no longer welcome in his bed. That was slightly ironic since he is the one who always crawls into my bed not the other way around. Sometimes you just have to go along with his moods. He will get over them soon enough and pretend that he never had them in the first place. In my defense I did offer to smuggle him in my suitcase. He was too worried about what he would look like when he got out of it to go for the idea.

All playing aside I really do worry about him. I know his body his hurting him more then he will ever let on. He doesn’t realize it, but his little sighs and the relaxed calm that comes over him when I massage his bad leg, are fairly telling. He never complains and he hardly ever limps. I doubt that what I do for him really helps his leg any but he acts like it does. Siwon agrees that it may just be the fact that Heechul likes to be touched when no one else is around. Heaven forbid he loses his tough bratty hate the world image. I’m telling anyone who reads this that he is a huge softy. Ask Heebum. He’ll tell you.

Speaking of the princess, I had better call him and make sure that he and Kangin haven’t gotten Leeteuk completely drunk or burnt down the apartments yet.

~Hankyung



Entry Forty - Zhou Mi

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